3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
