MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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