Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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