stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
