i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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