My hair reeks of homosexuality.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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