i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
