he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Pants are for mortals
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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