I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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