I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
