I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
