Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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