KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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