I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
