If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
