It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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