I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
