Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Every concussion has its silver lining
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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