All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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