They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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