Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
