I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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