All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
someone get that fucking seahorse.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Randomize
