I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
