You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
