OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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