He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
