Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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