Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize