on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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