Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Need sex. Gaining weight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
