I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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