Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
is that a dick in a sweater?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
