Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize