Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
