what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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