My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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