Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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