what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
