I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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