had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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