hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
