I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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