office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
