I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
