A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
