if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
