Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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