There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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