I got chris browned last night
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
