the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
