i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
