: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
