Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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