I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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