i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize