And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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