my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
