There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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